Hush Little Baby

"A crying baby is the best form of birth control."

-Carole Tabron

I was warned that your second child is always the opposite from your first. I was skeptic. Until now.


Nathan was so independent. Didn't really cry and was happy 90% of the time. He would sit in his swing and just be happy as can be. Granted, I had lots of help from his grandparents but I don't really remember me wanting to pull my hair out as much as....well, now.


Jaxon Jaxon Jaxon. He cries and cries and cries.

He cries when he's:

-hungry

-full

-has a dirty diaper

-getting his diaper changed

-in a clean diaper

-tired

He cries when:

-he wants his pacifier

-his pacifier falls out

-he's sucking on his pacifier

-you pick him up

-you put him down

-he's in his swing

-he's in his other swing

-he's in his bouncer

-he's in his crib

-you rock him

-you sing to him

So, when is he not crying?

When he's sleeping.

I already feel like a first time mom again. The real first time though, I had help with an experienced grandma who seemed like she knew everything there was to know about babies. This time around, Stephen & I are on our own. Seeing as how Stephen leaves for work by 6:00 am and doesn't get home until dinner time, I am completely alone during the day. When he cries I worry that he's uncomfortable, too hot, too cold, hungry, in pain, gassy, etc. So I do everything to check and make sure he's just fine, which he usually is. But he just.won't.stop.crying. It breaks my heart. If it doesn't stop when I cradle him I'm overcome with this fear that he just hates me. Okay okay. I'm sure I'm overreacting and he doesn't hate me...but I can't help but fear it.

Just when I think that he'll never stop, something happens and he stops crying.
[Hallelujah!]
Maybe he comforted himself or maybe it was actually something that I did to calm him.
I like to think it was something I did and I give myself a little pat on the back.
I can do this.

Welcome Baby Jax

A new baby is like the beginning of all things - wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities.

-Eda J. Le Shan

On March 2, Stephen and I welcomed our newest addition into the family. Introducing,

Jaxon Bradford Kutch

8 lbs 5 oz 21 in

I've noticed that moms always share their "horror" labor stories with other moms...I guess it's just a mom thing. There was nothing absolutely terrible about it, I suppose. He decided to arrive 5 days late, the nurse bent the needle when inserting the IV resulting in an arm that hurt more than the contractions, the epidural wore off by the time it was time to push, and anyone that was within a 5 mile radius of the hospital probably heard my screams (which I promised myself I wouldn't do). I faintly remember begging them to cut me open because he was too big and "hurt too bad." Toughen up, Erin.

The end result is amazing though. Everything that just happened and all the torture you endured is completely forgotten about as you hold your child for the first time.

Absolutely amazing.

Welcome Jaxon to this crazy, hectic, yet beautiful world. It's full of mystery, temptation, surprises both good and bad, chance, desire, wonders, and love. I promise that Daddy & I will always be there to help, support, guide, and love to the end.